Marrage Advice

Either focusing on the positive or the negative, comparing marriages is not an advisable thing to do. Comparing marriage A and marriage B is a very wrong and dreadful thing to do, it does not only affect marriages it destroys them completely. You should embrace your marriage with your partner with its unique flaws, weaknesses and strengths. No two marriages are the same. Being a perfect partner should not be the main aim, you should let your emotions flow from within and from your heart, trying to be a perfect partner will only result into forcing out emotions. Then you start going through other people’s marriages and comparing it with yours.

Some marriages are not what it seems to be on the surface (Yeah! Looks can be deceiving), while it took some years of commitment and love, tears, different tides, sacrifices to build such marriage does not mean you’d start experiencing what those people experienced in your first three months of marriage. You should learn more about each other and how to adjust to each other’s behavior and attitude, after all Love conquers all. You need to have faith in your marriage, it helps you to plan, prepare and secure your future together. Romantic partnership like that of you and your partner should not be ‘copied and pasted,’ rather it should be natural and exceptional.

Although studies have shown that comparing your marriage can be helpful and beneficial ONLY if you choose to focus on the positives, concentrating on the negatives will result to discontent and even worse jealousy (honestly, jealousy blinds your vision to see what you cherish in your marriage). Revel in the value of your togetherness and the good heart of your partner. Comparison of marriage nurture hatred, feeds ego and makes you be on the edge, you think of other people’s marriage rather than focusing on how to build a strong future with your partner. Another detrimental or worst case scenario comparison can lead to CHEATING, COMPETITION, EGO, ENVY, JEALOUSY, etc. You’d notice all these traits are written in block letters, it is for you to stay clear-off these traits and once you see you’re beginning to fall into these traits, you need to swallow it up or better still consciously drop the thoughts and action into the trash can because it does nothing but steals your peace of mind.

Social media is another avenue to foster comparison of marriages but unknown to many, people only show you what they want to show you. Some of us confuse these for a perfect life scenario, I am not saying it is a façade people put up but you should not believe anything you read or see or hear from social media. Be contented with what you have with your partner and if there’s anything you wish him/her to improve upon or imbibe as an attitude you can easily talk about it and reach consensus.

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